Eight tips for traveling abroad that make all the difference

Gelato near the Pantheon, Rome

This post is overdue. It feels long ago now, but in early June I found myself back in some of my favorite places in Europe and exploring others that were only a glimmer in my eye months earlier. In the process I crossed two Day Zero goals off my list: return to Paris, and eat gelato on the Spanish Steps in Rome (which was not totally how it played out, but close...see the above photo). I'm not sure how else to recap it at this point, but over the course of the trip I made mental notes of things I've learned along the way that might be fun to share. And thus, I present to you,

Stuff I've learned while traveling to Europe

Taking in the Jardin des Tuileries, Paris

Sentiment on the wall of our Roman apartment

1. Return to places you love. Though we only have one life and a limited number of days and many places to go, when you find a place that speaks to you, go back if you can. It was just over a decade ago when I first visited Rome. I'll never forget the night our shuttle bus drove from the airport into the heart of the city. All at once we rounded a corner and there sat the Colosseum, lit up in all its ancient glory. My heart fluttered. It fluttered again this second time when we walked from our apartment on our first evening to the same spot, in the same dark setting. While I had forgotten much of that first trip, certain things triggered my memory as we walked through piazzas and around crumbling structures. It's funny how these things cause you to think about all that's changed in your life between then and now, and how, amazingly, these other things around you seem not to have changed at all. Call me sappy, but it really was nice to go back with perspective and maturity, and also to go with someone I've been so excited to share it with.  And also, when you return to places, you don't worry so much about seeing all the big sights. With trip number two, you notice a lot more.

With Paris, I'm noticing it becomes more romantic with each visit.

Pont des Arts, Paris

2. Let food be your guide. I didn't exactly eat gelato on the Spanish Steps (the original Day Zero goal), but we stood at the top of them as the sun set and got hassled by annoying vendors who wanted to sell us roses. After we descended and headed toward the Trevi Fountain, we struck gelato gold. I learned that not only can you judge a good gelateria by the color of its pistachio gelato (should be a muted green, not bright), but also in how they display the gelati - or in this case, don't. This place had everything under silver lids, so you went into it blindly. What we got, though, was mind blowing. We went twice in 24 hours and enjoyed fruity scoops of grapefruit, pear and grape, and creamy varieties flavored with whiskey, ginger and cinnamon, and licorice like we'd never tasted before. I am forever ruined.

View from the Spanish Steps, Rome

3. Get into "bed mode" right before you get on your long flight, if time allows. This was the easiest flight over because I changed into my yoga pants, took out my contacts, washed my face and had my noise-cancelling headphones, warm socks, neck pillow and sleeping pills at the ready. Also, drink water every time it's offered. A little Campari before dinner helps. And believe people when they tell you not to take a nap when you've reached your destination. Stay stimulated and seek sunlight. Hold out for an early bedtime. 

Walking outside the porticos, Bologna

4. Talk to locals. Rick Steves does it and you can, too. This has been one of the best parts of traveling with Joel. He's good at this. On our first trip to Paris, he contacted a couple through Couchsurfing who was willing to meet us for drinks. We wanted to practice our French, but also wanted to get a less touristy experience with people our age who live in Paris. We really enjoyed them and stayed in touch, so this time they offered us accomodations. By the time we left, we had solid Parisian friends. Besides that, we used Airbnb to find our other lodging and our hosts were really helpful and kind. One of them (in Bologna) gave us a bottle of wine to welcome us. Another (in Rome) gave us great restaurant recommendations (the best food on our trip). The others (in Lyon) provided nice, simple breakfasts and lots of maps. Maybe we've just been lucky, but I've been reminded time and again that there are friendly and caring people everywhere.

Our apartment in Bologna

5. If you're traveling with a partner, know what each of you considers to be a vacation. Joel and I learned this last time - he likes to relax and do as the locals do, while I like to explore until I'm exhausted. He functions well with spontaneity, and I prefer a basic itinerary. We still struggle to find that happy medium, but we're getting better; he's starting to be okay with the touristy stuff, while I am working hard to not let a 10 a.m. start frustrate me. We've also ventured into doing certain things on our own. It's important for any relationship to understand these nuances, and a trip will bring them out real fast, for better or worse. If you want to have a good time, anticipate where you may need a little patience.

The view after dinner, Lyon

6. You are a tourist, and it's okay to make mistakes, but you don't have to be an idiot. Don't speak louder than normal when you're speaking English to those who only know a little. Knowing a little bit about the people around you will help you appreciate or anticipate the things that otherwise may feel strange. That "do as the Romans do" saying only works if you have eyes to observe. I've learned so much about how to dine at a café or restaurant just by looking around at the local patrons - how to eat pizza when it doesn't come pre-sliced, where to place a half-eaten slice of baguette, how to handle a sticky cornetto pastry. Your trip is less stressful when you admit you're not from there but you're eager to learn.

Thing learned from watching Italians: it's okay for each person to order a pizza (even if it means leaving some behind). Bologna

7. Learn the basics of exposure when taking pictures. I'm no pro, but I saw a lot of bad photos being taken that I knew would not turn out because the photographer wasn't thinking about back light. Understandably, people want to take photos of themselves against beautiful backdrops, which are lit up nicely, but the subjects in front are often in the shadows. Sad, delete. Take a second to notice this stuff. Also keep an eye out for all the tourists behind you who are also taking photos, otherwise you'll be photobombing each other like crazy.

Getting artsy with backlight from the lookout at Basilica of Notre-Dame de Fourvière, Lyon

The Pantheon at night (the first time we had the amazing gelato), Rome

8. Trains won't always get you where you want to go. (Though I always think they will.) Do the research before you get there, otherwise be prepared to spend more money and more time figuring out complicated travel connections. We learned this days before we planned to travel from Bologna to Lyon and ended up backtracking via train and taking an EasyJet from Rome. In other cases, trains (i.e., metros) may be on strike at any point during your stay. Being a good sport and a swift-paced walker will get you far. Wear good shoes.

From the Two Towers in Bologna

As with any trip like this, I'm grateful to have had these opportunities that make realize that I'm one of millions of people who have walked these roads, climbed these towers, sat in these café chairs, and my experience is just one in a brief moment in time. There's so much to soak up.