So...now we're halfway through February and I had this puppy in my drafts for a couple weeks. It already feels like a long time ago, but here's what I meant to post at the end of last month.
The best thing about January was sharing some riveting news with friends and loved ones, and if this is the first time you’re hearing of this, surprise! On December 31, Joel and I married each other, in our friends' backyard, in the final hours of 2020.
We had no rings, no formal speeches, no fancy clothes under our down jackets, just our witnesses and ordained friend who asked us if we took each other as husband and wife. It was a decision twelve years and six months in the making, and when it was made, we wasted no time. Our lives were already so interwoven and committed to each other that marriage, to us, felt like opening ourselves to a warm embrace that had long been waiting for us. With each person we have shared our news with (starting with our parents, the next day), I’ve felt that embrace expand.
I must admit that I didn’t think things would feel that different after marriage, but they do. And while I’m admitting things, I’ll add that it’s lovelier than I expected, even as I knew what to expect with Joel as a partner. And while in another reality I would have loved to see my friends and family beside us when we gathered, being able to strip away the trappings of a wedding really made things feel more personal and allowed us to focus on the chapter we’re launching. The friends who were able to be with us were part of our story from the very beginning, which was special, too. It was the best way to end one year and begin another. I've carried this poem by Mary Oliver in my pocket all winter, and it has felt all the more poignant ever since.
We left two days later for a quick trip to Walla Walla and called it a honeymoon (with the dog). The gorgeous weather made outdoor wine tasting bearable, and it was nice to eat another city’s takeout. We also stopped in at a jeweler to figure out our ring sizes and came home and made those purchases for our left hands.
Then came the insurrection, the inauguration, the news of friends receiving the long-awaited vaccine.
A mixed bag of joy, agony, joy, anxiety and joy, as usual.
Here are other highlights, the ones I can remember, at least.
What we’ve eaten:
I’ve been creating these little calendars to help me meal plan and to document what we’ve eaten. I usually only plan out a few days at a time - depending on my grocery shopping plans - which allows for flexibility, the lack of which is the primary reason I’ve resisted meal planning. On the back of the calendar I list recipes I want to try that month, which includes desserts, and I refer to it each time I’m plotting out the next few days or weekend. When the month is over, I slip the paper in a sheet protector and stick it into one of my recipe binders. It then becomes a reference if I’m looking for ideas for future months.
We’ve eaten a number of hearty soups, some standbys like pizza, hodgepodge clean-out-the-fridge dishes, and recipes from new issues of Bon Appetit and Milk Street magazines. Desserts are where I’m having the most fun, with a red wine marble cake, Swedish orange almond cookies (pink icing from blood oranges), and a loaf cake with macerated prunes (with port and whiskey) and pistachios. I also made a new sourdough loaf that contained dried fruit and sunflower seeds that made for incredible toast.
Joel made the month, though, with the most unusual soup, Royale Bolognese, to celebrate the new year. What you’re seeing above is essentially parmesan dumplings in a clear meat broth with fresh nutmeg. It was quite a process to make and the results were incredible. I’ve never eaten anything like it. We think this will be our New Year’s Day tradition. The recipe came from Pasta By Hand, a wonderful cookbook that hasn't failed us yet.
The rest of the time I eat a steady diet of oatmeal for breakfast, and poached egg and greens for lunch (sprinkled with a little feta, plus some Triscuits or toast on the side), with lots fruits and vegetables in between. I’m off of weekday booze, save for a small glass of vermouth that I allow myself as a reward for cleaning the bathroom on Wednesdays after work, and we usually crack open a bottle of wine on Fridays. Lately that bottle has been lasting us all weekend (which is shocking - last year we could polish off one in a night). My blood pressure is now on the high end of normal.
We got a milk frother for Christmas (thanks to me) so I’m also enjoying the occasional cappuccino with my Aeropress.
Watching:
I’ve been thinking of how little I remember of the stuff we watch. We are in the last season of Frasier, and I’m ready for it to end as they’re recycling some old bits from previous seasons, back when Frasier was in its heyday. We watched the first (very short) season of Lupin (Netflix), which was enjoyable, and the latest season of Call My Agent(Netflix). We also enjoyed The Flight Attendant (HBO). For movies, I’d recommend The Dig, a new feature from Netflix. It was also fun to watch the documentary about the Monterey Pop Festival (HBO) and see what festival-going was like in the 1960s, before large corporate sponsorships and smartphones took over the scene. Joel keeps selecting French/Italian/Spanish movies that I never remember the names of later. I need to write this stuff down. He would agree, though, that most of it was forgettable.
Listening:
I’ve given up podcasts and am exclusively listening to audiobooks on my daily walks in my effort to read more books this year. I finished The Body by Bill Bryson, which was fascinating, though many facts are hard to retain. A few passages, however, I will never forget, such as how kidney stones used to be removed, or the story of a guy who fell from a plane without a parachute and survived, and how we can thank mustard gas for the existence of chemotherapy. The main takeaway was that our bodies are smarter than we realize, and that there’s so much that’s still a mystery. I also finished Ibram X. Kendi’s How to Be an Anti-Racist. He writes very methodically but breaks it up with his personal experiences. I was talking to someone who has also been listening to the audiobook version of this, and we agreed it's best to take it in small portions.
Music-wise, it’s mostly music for chilling out. Mia Doi Todd's Cosmic Ocean Ship album has been nice during my afternoon slumps. We also learned of a French band called Catastrophe, a fun and dancy group...the music video for "Maintenant ou Jamais" feels a lot like the dance parties my post-college housemates would host, i.e., a handful of people flailing their arms and spinning, channeling other eras with their outfits. I miss those days.
Reading:
Aside from my audiobooks, I’ve finished Circe by Madeline Miller, The Cold Millions by Jess Walter, and Writers and Lovers by Lily King. All were so different, and all were so engaging. We’re off to a good start this year. Between reads I fit in some short stories by Mavis Gallant as a palate cleanser. I just started Dirt by Bill Buford which is already fun.
Making:
I frogged this project last year and picked it back up for 2021 -- a fun sock pattern called Hickory, which is sometimes a challenge for my hands but worth the effort.
This year has already brought some sadness and new challenges, and right now I'm focusing hard on things that bring color into my life. I'm wearing more jewelry and buying plants and picking out colorful yarn and fabric for new projects. And I'm making sure we always have something for dessert.
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