Detracting distraction

In the last year I have had many conversations with people about how we're trying to detach from our phones, limit our news consumption, and figure out how to make social media less prominent in our lives. Here is how I'm dealing with this stuff lately, in case it provides inspiration for anyone else who is trying to manage stress and distraction as a way to return to the better stuff of life.

1. The phone at work: One of the biggest changes I've tried to implement is to not bring my phone to meetings. I arrived at a meeting one day and everyone was looking at their phones while waiting for the meeting to begin and it made me sad. Yes, sometimes it's helpful to have access to your calendar and email for reference, but there are ways around it.

2. The phone at home: When I get home from work, I sometimes leave my phone in my bag, hopefully with my ringer on, but often it gets left in there until bedtime when I need to plug it in. I immediately focus on other things I want to do when I get home. Unless I'm texting or talking with loved ones, it's easy for me to forget about my phone completely. I notice that when I'm on Instagram at home (either posting or just scrolling), I'm stealing time from doing other things I would truly rather be doing, so I try to limit it - but I love Instagram and it's really hard to do. Lately I'm trying to limit myself to viewing 10 posts per session.

3. The phone at peace: I am a firm believer in turning off notifications. This includes that little red number on my email app that shows me how many emails I have waiting for me. My home screen is mostly blank with just the essentials: texts, camera, calendar, alarm and notes. I also hate the vibrate feature, so I don't use that either (I find it just as distracting and loud as having your ringer on). Joel also pointed out a couple new features to me recently: 1) You can choose the number of times your phone alerts you to a new unread text message. I think the default is twice, but I just changed it to once; 2) You can set your screen to 50 Shades of Grey i.e. grayscale your phone so you don't see the red notifications. It also makes all your photos look moodier.

4. The phone in other places: Unless I'm listening to a podcast, I DO NOT TAKE MY PHONE INTO THE BATHROOM. First of all, there are enough germs on your phone already. Second, more germs. Third, germs germs germs. Fourth, stop to think about how messed up it is to be liking people's Instagram posts from the comfort of a toilet seat. Besides bathrooms, I try to keep my phone out of situations when I'm waiting. You'll be surprised how much reading you can do if you take out a book whenever you'd normally reach for your phone.

5. Dealing with Facebook: For some of us, it's a necessary evil - we can't do our jobs without it. But after reading Bored and Brilliant earlier this year, I deleted the Facebook and Messenger apps on my phone. I prefer the desktop versions anyway, and I've kept the Pages app to monitor work accounts. But I still checked Facebook once or twice a day at home on my laptop, in part to keep tabs on pages, but if I'm honest, it was mostly mindless scrolling through my feed. Then the other day at work, I got a notification that someone had logged into my Facebook account (scary), so I had to change the password. I used a password generator to create something long and complicated, wrote it down on a note and tucked it away in my office. When I got home and logged into Facebook over the weekend, I realized I needed my new password. I obviously didn't have it. I haven't bothered to update it. And that's how I stopped checking Facebook when I'm not at work.

6. Limiting news: I have pared down my news sources to a daily email from the Skimm, The Daily podcast, the Sunday New York Times (and even then I stick mostly to the non-news sections) and whatever Joel tells me about. In most of these cases, the news is about a day old, so there's a distance that provides perspective. I sometimes also use my Feedly reader to skim a few headlines from the local paper and NPR. Most important, I vote and I donate to causes that I believe make the world better. Maybe someday I'll do more.

7. Focus on priorities: It's amazing what you can do when you don't have to keep up with social media and news! More than ever, I'm realizing I'm doing a terrible job at maintaining personal relationships, in part because I feel like I "see" people  Instagram and Facebook, when really, I have no idea what's going on behind the scenes. My goal is to make people a higher priority, and to act like social media doesn't exist.