Long overdue

I've missed this blog, this place where I air out my dreamy thoughts and record nice moments. It's all been overtaken by the internal processor that is my brain, the little devil that induces nightmares about real estate and makes it difficult for me to concentrate on the rosier sides of life. It would be impossible to document all the mental tangents of late, but anyone could get a good idea if they only looked through my Google search history. In times like these, when life-changing decisions are in process, my imagination makes me lose perspective. So far this year, I've only read one book, I've barely knitted anything, and this is my fifth blog post of 2015. But I think things are turning around! I've been cooking from a new cookbook, I started a new knitting project, and I am reading a new book - all of which probably means I am finally getting back to using my five senses to take in the world around me, and to my attempts at blogging. A warning, though: This is the first blog post that hasn't remained in draft mode in weeks, and it is likely to be a ramble-fest. Notice there are no pictures. Sorry.

In a nutshell, we're in the process of buying the house we've lived in for the last seven (six for me) years. It's great in most ways: it's truly a charming house in a desirable neighborhood and, after looking at other houses in our price range, it is even more evident just how great we've got it. But it's still a century-old house, and we've lived through many of its problems. As current tenants, we had the luxury (if you can call it that) of having the time to schedule pretty much every sort of expert to check out our place and tell us what we're really getting into: everything from a structural engineer to a mold guy to a roofer to an arborist, not to mention the actual inspection. It gave us a tiny bit of peace of mind about the big stuff we've been wondering about all these years, but lingering anxiety all the same. I'm not exaggerating when I say that we changed our mind about what we were doing about 80 times.

Also adding to the stress level was being first-time home buyers without representation. Our landlady is the kindest woman and we never felt we were getting scammed - on the contrary, we probably saved some money doing it this way - but we still had to learn a lot on our own about how real estate works, and make sure we were looking out for our best interests. (Again, my Google search history is probably hilarious.) I will say that in pretty much every circumstance, our interactions with the involved parties affirmed our faith in humanity. The people we have worked with have been kind and charitable, and in many cases have gone above and beyond what we needed them to do.

We started this whole process back in January, so needless to say I'm ready to begin my new normal. This deal should close - knock on wood -  right around my 33rd birthday later this month. I know that in the years to come, I'll look back on this brief moment in time and feel nostalgic about it, or be glad I'm not that naive homebuyer anymore, or smile when I think about driving around Spokane at night with Joel and the dog as we looked at other neighborhoods and sang along with the oldies station. For now, though, I'm grateful that we've arrived at spring and things are turning into my favorite colors. I have felt a bit dormant around here, storing up whatever energy I had for dealing with my tumultuous mental state, but now I'm ready to get out and have some f-u-n.

Best of all, the thought of being homeowners is finally starting to make me feel happy. I think the loveliest part of going through big decisions and life events like these, as difficult as they can be, is that they serve as a new basis of kinship and empathy with others. You suddenly have this new connection with people you never had before. Trading horror stories and tips and tricks and all this stuff that never mattered to you is now so much more fun and interesting. So, I'll take it.

And now it's time to remember how to use my camera again. Stay tuned!